so many things have happened within the past 24 hrs. i have hurt someone badly. i hurt myself.
i'm sorry that i have to do this, but if i dont, it would hurt both of us in the future. i dont mean to. we'll probably decide after the Os. but for now, pls ,i dont u to be sad. it hurts me to see u that way. dont even isolate urself from ur friends, isolate yourself from everyone. dont emo. pls. i know i m wrong. but isnt it better for u to know now, rather than later? wouldnt it hurt u even more? i have been through what u are probably going through now, its painful i know. but pls, take it as though i am begging you, pls, cheer up. i dont want to see u like this. really. i dont.

to unknown: u cannnot possibly not blame me or hate me. i'd rather you hate me. and blame me. dont always keep it to urself. if u want to scold me with all the vulgarities u know, go ahead, if u want to hit u can too, go ahead. whatever u want to do to vent on anger, do it on me. dont ignore ur friends, pls.

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